"Your move, Trelane," said Q, after advancing a pawn to King's Level 6.
The self-proclaimed Squire of Gothos examined the board for a moment, before mirroring his adversary's move.
Q chuckled.
"Again with the mirror tricks," he sighed, leaning back in his metaphorical chair, "you'll never win with those paltry tactics. You may as well concede!"
"Fiendish cur!" snarled Trelane, "you play a coward's game!"
"A coward?" said Q, feigning offense, "Moi?"
"You fear getting your hands dirty, so you engage in these thought exercises instead of fisticuffs," countered the ruffle-wearing being.
"Now, now, Trelane," said Q, "mucking about with the universe can have disastrous consequences."
"Stuff and nonsense!" exclaimed Trelane, standing and upsetting the chess board, and drawing his sword, "I challenge you to a gentlemen's duel, you yellow-bellied snake!"
Q sighed, and rubbed his temples, where he was starting to develop a headache. He hated babysitting.
"Sit down, junior," said the omnipotent being, materializing a desk, just to prop his feet up on it.
Trelane slapped Q's feet off the desk, and slapped him in the face with his riding gloves.
"On your feet, you poltroon!" he shouted.
Sighing once again, Q stood up. A menacing look in his eyes.
"Fine, Trelane," he said, looking quite bored, "we'll play your little game."
"Splendid!" declared the Squire, clapping his hands delightedly "we shall perform a little experiment, you and I, to determine which is more powerful. Good or evil."
"What do good and evil mean to beings such as us?" countered Q, folding his arms, "they are mere constructs that lesser lifeforms use to dictate their insignificant actions before their finite existence ceases."
"Precisely!" proclaimed Trelane, "we will use lesser beings as our lab rats for this experiment. I know you're particularly fond of tormenting one in particular."
"Let's leave Jean-Luc out of this one," said Q, "he already knows of my existence, so his reactions to the test would be worthless."
"Very well," said Trelane, pompously waving one of his hands, "it matters little to me which rats we put into our maze."
"What are the stakes for this little game of yours?" wondered Q.
"Oh just trivialities, mere trifles," waving his hand once again, "bragging rights, and the ability to freely meddle with the universe as the winner sees fit without the interference of the other."
Q raised an eyebrow, intrigued despite himself.
"Very well," he said, "I accept your stakes, but once the experiment has begun, neither of us can interfere without forfeiting the wager."
"We have a deal," agreed Trelane, extending his hand.
Q shook the proffered appendage.
"Then let the games...begin," the all powerful being said, raising an eyebrow.
With a snap of the fingers, the duo disappeared.
